John Deutzman's Blog

I had about 20 trick-or-treaters tonight that looked like they could been members of the Talaban! I was looking at them, thinking about how stupid we must be to open our doors to strangers dressed in disguises-----some of them are just way too old to be out there impersonating children.

One of my neighbors was smart though; she installed a tube-shoot from her window to her front porch, and each time the doorbell rang, she sent candy down the shoot and yelled "happy halloween" through her window.

Y'all may like this..
You might be part of the Taliban if:

You refine heroin for a living,
but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher,
but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests come in two styles:
bullet-proof and suicide.

You've ever opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.

You used a Stinger missile given to you by George Bush Sr.
to shoot at a helicopter sent by George Bush Jr.

You've ever had your camel repossessed.

You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

You consider television dangerous,
but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

You've ever been asked,
"Does this burka make my ass look fat?"

You think "The Kite Runner" is the funniest book you ever read.

You've felt the urge to rub one out
after seeing a woman's exposed ankle.

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses
other than setting off roadside bombs.

You've ever uttered the phrase,
"I love what you've done with your cave."

I know what create a separate train car for those with bags on, preferably two of the back cars...a la the car for only women cars.

in other words joez ya are telling Mr. Bloomberg to take a one way metro card and hop on the "h" line to its last stop. (too be clear not comparing "h" to Mass.)