akamrx's Blog

   === Nutty Newz, all the newz that one can make up ===

---Because of  the amount of rats within Manhattan's subsurface businesses are thinking of strapping tiny "post it" notes to the rats back for even faster message deliveries, in an under related note it is rumored that Taco Bell might be one of the first in line to use this service.

---In a surprise move Burger King will now have a "Take Out & Sauna self service" first starting in Ohio BK chains. (BK = B*TT Klean ?,)


---Due to Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps  success many other Olympic teams are enjoying his success but a few are trying to throw anything "at the fan" including the fact that Phelps eats more than the usual gas causing foods,  then  stink .. think he uses the digestive output methane ( scientific term: farts ) as a propellant.  We tracked Michael down to ask him of the accusation his response and we quote "BurRRp'. More at 11...uh 10 being it's foxblog.


---In a move to make things safer for taxi drivers  to communicate with their head office they are replacing texting with smoke signals. The Taxi & Limousine commissioner stated in this era of going green  (Earth friendly) why not use all that exhaust fumes for good and so those fumes will be redirected through a funny looking muffler designed to look like a karzy straw or crazy straws up above the taxi's on/off light and use smoke signals to communicate to and fro with headquarters! ... holy smokes batman!!!

---In the double - bigoted action it was discovered that it was the Japanese team dressed up like the Spanish basketball team and then used their hands to appear as Chinese.

---In entertainment newz George Lucas is about to reveal the next version of Star Wars. It will use BIG CURTAINS placed in pairs throughout the rows of seats in each theater and as the Star Wars soundtrack plays in the background instructions handed out as one enters explains how one should go in an out of the curtains and use ones imagination just as you did as a child when running through curtains just blown up by wind coming in through the open window. Advanced ticket sales $15, $20 & 50 Dollars are available at ThrowYerMoneyOutTheWindow.nut


---FDA sez: No Risk From BPA In Food Containers, yet a few seconds later when asked if one added to the BPA some MSG, EDTA, HFCS, BHT, BHA, BSS (Bu**S*i*Stuff) then the FDA spokesperson said "WHOA ARE YA NUTS that's dangerous". (BTW those other initials are common preservatives in so called foods ... uhhh except BTW)


---UnReel Rumor: Mrs. McCain hurt her arm practicing how to vote in two states at the same time.

---THE TECH lowdown: iPhone  IS faster ... it connects you to incorrect numbers faster than any other similar device.

---In the hopes to add fresh new contestants AMERCAN'T IDOL will allow novice construction workers to enter their competitions by allowing their screams of pain after hammering their thumbs, but only during the first round of competitions, in under related newz the "AI" officials are still contemplating to allow hemorrhoid suffers siting in uncomfortable chairs to also enter the first round.