bigbadbob's Blog

    Many years ago There was an unwritten law somewhere that supposedly defined the male and female roles, ie:  Men are to build the lodging, hunt for food, do all of the heavy manual labor (please note the word MAN in manual), transport the family from one place to another, etc.    Women are to have the children and rear them, do the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc.  Did I mention that these are archaic, unwritten laws?  

   Let me see if I have this straight...I was to build the house?  I had everything to do to build a relationship.  Get real, me hunt for food??  Sure drop me off at the local Seven-Eleven and I'll eventually find out where they keep the TWINKIES!  I had no problem with the manual labor thing, or driving people around. I can do that. That's easy!   As a musician, I spent years on the road driving the band around. As far as all that female stuff, I can do all of that, too, with the exception of having the baby!  I was merely the baker who put the bun in the oven, she did all the rest.  Well, I did attend the Lamaze classes, which I am firmly convinced was a plot dreamed up by prenatal females to have you in the labor room during birth so that they can legally call you every foul, disgusting, name in the book, and curse at you and all men dating back to Adam and not be sued for defamation of character or libel in a court of law!

            Something tells me that this unwritten law hasn't applied for years.  In fact, something else hasn't applied for years, either; Dad being the main breadwinner and Mom staying at home to take care of things.  There was a time when if you needed some extra money for a new washing machine, Dad would get a second job, or Mom might find some part time work.  But today, in most areas, both Mom and Dad have to work full time just to make ends meet.  That was a no brainer for us, I was already running my business out of the house and she worked in the city as a corporate accountant! So fellas, with the exception of the baby thing, the old laws should be shredded and thrown into the compost heap!  We should ALL share ALL other responsibilities.  There's nothing wrong with men doing laundry, cooking, washing floors...heck if they make you do it in the Marines, who are we to complain, are we a country of male wusies?  (I had to say all this stuff guys.  The wife reads all of my blogs! You know, an ounce of prevention, I don't need the mental anguish.  At the very least it would make me anal retentive!) 

   The truth is that I did all that stuff when I was a bachelor.  After I realized that it was cheaper to clean my apartment every week myself, then to hire a BOB-CAT every other month.  The cooking thing was a great way to meet chicks and get them over to my place.  In the beginning, their faces would distort and turn unnatural colors.  Then there was that time I had to perform the heimlich maneuver to dislodge some really hard jello from a purple lady.  It took a couple of years, but I got the hang of it and my cooking improved, and they began returning for second dates without any after effects!  

   The laundry room was another great place to fraternize with the opposite sex, plus I could con them into washing my stuff!  That was until I met this gorgeous blonde, who before long convinced me that no one in the world did laundry better than I did and now I was doing hers, too!  I still am, because we got married!

      When our daughter was born, I decided that I was going to share taking care of the baby with the Queen of the household, despite all the things she called me in the labor room.  My wife gave me a hug, and said, "Good! You can start by changing the baby!!"  Me and my BIG MOUTH!